I apologize.

for the obnoxious amounts of updates on the el-jay. I have entertained myself in every way possible. I'm waiting for my mom to wake up so I finally have company. Why aren't I asleep?


You know what is really hilarious, all of the rumours I have had relayed to me about myself. Majority of these stem from underclassmen at DA. I continually am hearing these outlandish claims on what my life has become, mostly from an underclassman I run into regularly who is a lifeguard at the YMCA and others from my friends who have heard them from either a. other underclassmen i've never heard of or talked to or b. my old teachers! It's amazing. I know weaselface Lyons has a lot to do with most of them. Due to the increasing number of rumours, as well as their inexplicable nature... I'm going to set the record straight on the most reoccuring ones.


1. No. I am not a crackhead and I have never done crystal meth.
2. I have not had "at least 7" abortions.
3. I was not in rehab with Nicole Richie.


The truth:
1. I never did crack or meth because I was fairly consumed with my indulgence in shooting up heroin off hooker's titties.
2. I have not had "at least 7" abortions. I have had 3 illegitimate children (Heintz, Arlo & Ida - each has a different father) and at least 18 other abortions. It's been a busy almost 2 years after graduation.
3. It was Paris Hilton and Whitney Houston.



It amazes me that this much time later post graduating there are still people concerned with my life. I don't care about the people I didn't keep in touch with after high school. I hope they are all doing well, but I don't waste my time keeping up on anyone else's dirt, or who got fat, or who is doing what. If I did care about these things, I would have kept in touch with those people.


C'mon kids, you've physically graduated highschool... now all you have to do is do it mentally. Or don't. I don't give a fuck.